Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Things That Only Happen in Movies

The first ten ...
  1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
  2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
  3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.
  4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
  5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.
  6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
  7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
  8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
  9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
  10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
Via Looking Closer Journal

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